These past few days have been a struggle. I haven’t been feeling well, and I can’t tell if it is just fatigue–which is a funny thing to say, because fatigue is generally ferocious and rarely less than debilitating…or, if perhaps it was the flu and pneumonia shots I had the other day, with headache being a possible side effect. I’ve even had a bit of a stomach ache, which is exceptionally rare, so I’m thinking this is either a reaction to the shots, or perhaps seasonal allergies, which I am prone to in the fall. It could even be stress, but whatever it is, it is messing with my writing, big time. I hardly have the energy or the strength to power through these posts lately.
Perhaps I am failing at my experiment of pushing through fatigue by doing instead of surrendering?
Yesterday, feeling particularly poorly, I gave myself the day to surrender. I love that I have learned to do this…to take time out when my body tells me it needs rest. I mean, sometimes the body just gives out–the trick is in the acceptance; the willingness to participate in the reprieve. The Benghazi Hearings were on yesterday, so I thought all that rest would do the trick. I woke up feeling better, at least this morning.
Today, eager to return to my routine, I walked four miles in cloudy, cool weather. I went and picked up the Halloween costume for my granddaughter that I mentioned in this post. It’s amazing how beautiful the colors are this fall, and how they are mostly still on the trees, so late in the season for our area.
This has been such a beautiful autumn. I am so glad it is not one I missed, like so many before it. I hate missing a beautiful day outdoors. We’ve been blessed this fall with many walks, a trip to the apple orchard, a little hiking, a trip to the botanic garden, and a few fall festivals…one which included shopping with girlfriends. That’s been a lot to accomplish while tied to this 31 Day Writing Challenge. I’m going to miss the splendor of this glorious season, but one thing that makes me feel even more grateful on down days like these is the help, compassion and understanding I get from my writing coach…
I consider my “writing coach” to be my husband Rich. He is so understanding of my needs, of my condition, of where I have been and how hard I have worked to regain my health. He marvels at my progress. Above all, he appreciates my creativity and always cheers me on no matter what form my creativity takes. When I’m not feeling well, I often bemoan not being able to be active. I always feel guilty if I am not accomplishing something each day. My husband never stresses what I don’t get done…he just smiles, and says, “Don’t worry about it,” and I know he means it, too…
I could sleep all day, and he would just bring me food. He is really that helpful. When I want to get something done, but also want to write, he always says cheerfully, “Writers write!” He supports my writing in every way imaginable, even to the extent of saying things like, “I love your writing,” “I loved that post,” or, “You can write whatever you want to.” I feel so blessed to have his support…and only wish I would have had it when I was younger, feeling that everything else in the universe had to come before my writing.
My husband loves how happy writing makes me. He feels that my writing is a gift to the world. I don’t feel this way, but his feeling it helps liberate me so that I do write, and even on occasion, share what I write. For this, I feel like the luckiest woman, so richly blessed. I never have to hide or feel frustrated, because I am fully supported. I wish this encouragement and support for all writers, because otherwise writing can feel a bit selfish, a bit self-indulgent.
Rich doesn’t know that this is what I decided to write about today, but I already know he will be moved. If I were feeling better, I would put even more effort into the writing so that he could feel as amazing as he is–the way I do whenever he says enthusiastically, “You’re an amazing writer!”
You’re an amazing husband, Rich, and I am so grateful I have you to travel with me on this sometimes jagged journey. Thank you for all you do to help me. You are the best!
This is Day 23 in the 31 Day Writing Challenge, 31 Days of Breaking Free from Fatigue
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